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MY BLOG: Every day for a year.
Day 101. ‘The slaying of B1 and B2’
Each morning I like to gather my thoughts and serenity at the bottom of a swimming pool. There’s nothing quite like it for filtering out the world and getting inside your own noggin. A shimmery figure of yellow hovers over the top of me. The good ol’ lifeguard checking I am just imitating Buddha on the floor and not in fact drowning. Rising from the bottom to top up my oxygen supply, my moment of ‘oom’ is severely interrupted by the beast know as ‘Obnoxious Bullius Buttheadius.’ (See Paigepedia for word definition and authenticity). Inhaling the after flow from the monster body slam, I’m left gasping and choking for air, as I blindly feel my way to the edge and safety. Attacking him with the mightiest death stare I could muster he continued on his merry way, oblivious to my very existence. There were many other souls taking their morning stress relief alongside me in the water, but no one so much as blinked at tornado Tom’s rudeness. Despite my imaginary foot pinning his head to the pool floor for ten imaginary minutes, I did, in fact, opt for the path of least resistance and moved over a few lanes. More bodies were making their way to the watery sanctuary, giving me my cue it was time to leave. Hanging on the ropes a few moments and contemplating the days’ activities, I spied the much larger version of the previously aforementioned, ‘Obnoxious Bullius Butthead.’ Making his way to the lane occupied by his ‘mini me’ he launched forth with uninhibited abandon, terrifying the very water intended to save him. The small Tsnumai caught many folks off guard, as their bodies toppled and gurgled in the disturbance. A few expletives escaped the herd as righteous indignation swept over them, but like his predecessor, awareness of those around him was not a priority. Listening to his arms hit the water was akin to hearing bullwhips crack on dry dusty roads, a disturbing and ominous warning not to ignored……I would have thought 🙂 Butthead 1 and Butthead 2 were set on a course of glorious collision, and like all impending train wrecks, it was hard not to watch. A fellow swimmer joined me on the spectator rope, pulling up alongside he turned to me and smiled. I raised my eyebrows at him in acknowledgment and smiled back. We watched the two juggernauts flounder ungainly through the water until the wince moment came. If you’ve ever been witness to a dog crashing into a glass door and being totally gobsmacked and stunned, that wide-eyed total look of shock? That was B1 and B2. Recoiling back from each other, and standing bolt upright, it didn’t take long for dazed bewilderment to become a raging rooster dance. Angry wings flapping the water, as raised voices bounced off the echoing dome walls. Their attention was soon drawn to my companion and I laughing til we cried. Apparently, humour is not a tension breaker when you are being laughed at and not with. Feather throwing in our general direction was met with a sharp stern warning from the yellow shimmer who had kept watch over me earlier that morning. Hauling myself from the pond and still smiling, I nodded at my compadre speaking my first words to him. “Cya.” Grinning from ear to ear, he replied, ” Cya.” Pretty sure he’s having a good day too. 🙂
Thank you for listening.